| Dante30 a întrebat:

Salutare TPU, ce parere aveti despre ce am compus?

We all have a shard of darkness deep within our soul, yet we try to hide it from the curious eyes of each other, To some this shard is unknown and nonexistent, They live they’re happy lives slaves to the machine known as normality and society.
But there are some like me, who exploit they’re own darkness so that they may find they’re true nature as so called human beings, The darkness which I am talking about isn’t what you would usually think of, it’s something more complex, so complex that you may associate it with life itself.
I walk this sadistic yet righteous path created by my own mind, believed by me sacred, day by day, only to discover that I betrayed my own existence.
I grow this shard of mine continuously against my own will, and I try to rise against it but only to find out that, the so called hope the ignorant are talking about, in my case and in many other’s it’s not existent.
They lay they’re judging eyes upon me, you, and every other individual, and try to give us names, faces, of what they see and think it’s true, But they are wrong. They fail to see the madness ever growing slowly but surely in our souls, they see but a facade of the soul we want to be, but we are not...We are faceless...and nothing more than a hollow shell. yet we walk, exist. We survive. and still we live a lie.

Ce spune-ti sa continui? Va place?

2 răspunsuri:
| AlexanderAdrian a răspuns:

"their own darkness" "their true nature"
"non existent" "their judging eyes" Constructia they're inseamna they are - ei sunt. Deci a lor e intotdeauna "their"

In plus spuneti e fara cratima.

E destul de ok, in afara de their ala, restul e bine structurat. Nu e tocmai original, nu sunt idei noi, dar e ok.

| Dante30 explică (pentru AlexanderAdrian):

Damn, acum sunt dezamagit de mine insumi... T_T